Saturday, November 27, 2010

Top Ten Skeletons In Your Girlfriend's Closet.

Be A Man A girl's reputation can go such a long, long way. And you know what reputation I'm talking about. Guys will always wonder about their girlfriend's past because they hide it so much better than we do., came up with this interesting article about the

Top Ten Skeletons In Your Girlfriend's Closet.

Let the paranoia begin!

No.10 - She slept with her boss or teacher

Your darling once got on top to get on top. Yes, she slept with a person of authority or power to get ahead, get by and get over. Maybe she did it with a professor for a grade or screwed the boss for a promotion. Either way, she had sex for something she wanted.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: Because you may see her as scheming and manipulative, and she will have a problem with that. Plus, you may not let her go to the office party or her school reunion.

No.9 - She was engaged

Sure you knew she wasn’t a virgin, but did you know that she was once set to walk down the aisle? Yes, she was one wedding band and tossed bouquet from being Mrs. Somebody Else.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: Because it ruins the blind fantasy that she was always made for you. It also opens up the can of worms about the other fella -- who he was, what he was like and of course, whether or not he was better than you in the sack.

No.8 - She used to be fat

She’s phat now (see what we did there) but she used to be just plain old fat. She was once a chubby roly-poly, and instead of being a 10, she was about 310. Your girlfriend was once overweight and has since lost weight and gotten into great shape. With her old body, she’s thrown out old photos, videos and anything else that ties her to the more rotund version of her former self.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: She doesn’t want to be reminded of how she used to look, but she also doesn’t want you to be afraid that she may blow back up. She wants another cookie without you staring at her with fear.

No.7 - She had a nervous breakdown

You’re dating Cybil, Carrie or any other person, but she doesn’t want you to know it. Maybe it was as a young girl or maybe it was in her uni years. At some point, she cracked and suffered from a break, depression, anxiety, hoarding, or cutting.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: Because women know men will only put up with them being a little crazy, but not all crazy.

No.6 - She's done hard drugs

Smack. Crack. Weed. She has tracks. Your girl has, at some point, done some illegal substances. She won’t want you to know that she’s had a few experiments and runs with gateway drugs. Have most people experimented with some gateway drug? Possibly, but your special lady hit the hard stuff and may have stayed on it for a while. Most of the time, her drug use was probably tied to a loser of a boyfriend.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: She’s scared you’ll find out and wonder if you need to hide everything from the Aspirin to the cough syrup.

No.5 - She has a criminal past

Ms. Right was once Ms. Turn Right, now Turn Left. Maybe it was disorderly conduct or maybe it was public intoxication or maybe it was murder. If she has a record, she’ll be damned before she reveals this secret in the relationship. Once again, a law-breaking past is often tied to a bad-boy buffoon of a boyfriend. A bad-boy buffoon of a boyfriend past makes your girl uncomfortable because it says something about her morals, her judgment and her trustworthiness.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: This skeleton in her closet will make her cringe because she doesn’t want to be doubted, damned and dumped. Plus, you may be a parole officer.

No.4 - She's had freaky sex

One of the ultimate skeletons in the closet: Your lady has done some weird stuff sexually. Maybe she’s had a threesome. Maybe she’s been with another woman. Whatever it is, she has more than just some sexual promiscuity behind her. She has some really unexpected bedroom baggage that she’ll never let you know about. Perhaps she’s brought a goat in for a wild weekend.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: This haunting fact about her sexual past has her crapping her pants because no woman wants her man to think she’s been a freak with anyone but him: Ho-ness leads to dumpness.

No.3 - She's had freaky sex on film

Watch out for the amateur porn sites, you may see your super girlfriend or mother of your children. The No. 3 skeleton in her closet is that she’s not only had freaky sex but it was recorded. Even more so, she was a willing and enthusiastic participant. It could be high-definition or a grainy cell phone video, but somewhere, she’s banged on tape and she banged good.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: This fact scares her with doubt about how you’ll see her (or see her on your laptop).

No.2 - She slept with someone you know

Ever wonder why your friend always smiles a little too much at your girlfriend? Ever found how awkward she gets around your dad? Here’s why: She had sex with them. Few skeletons are worse than this because she knows they could tell some stories about her, the way she was and the way she is

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: Your girl wants you to feel like she’s yours -- not your brother’s, best friend’s or barber’s.

No.1 - She slept with everyone

The biggest skeleton of all: She got around, she put out and she had more guys on her than peak time on the London Underground. It doesn’t matter when she was promiscuous and down to clown -- she’s ashamed of this getting out. This is truly one of the most protected secrets a woman will take to her grave.

She won’t even admit to her past lovers if she's summoned in a seance after her grave. When she got to you she was an angel, but before you she was anything but.

Why this skeleton is trapped in her closet: She doesn’t want this out because it kills her image, it wrecks your opinion of her and it can open up other undesirable aspects of her past.

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